How to Plan a Parent Discussion Group

When we think about training and leading parents, we might picture an environment where one person is at the front of the room sharing their knowledge with others — like a teacher in a school. While this is a necessary part of our parent strategy, it’s not the only way to train and lead others. What if we took a step back and recognized the wisdom our parents could share with each other and you? That’s where Discussion Groups come in.

A Parent Discussion Group is a gathering with a small group of adults who parent kids and teenagers. The premise is pretty simple: invite a small group of parents to join you for coffee, dessert, lasagna — whatever you want — so they can share some of their biggest successes, struggles, and the lessons they’ve learned along the way. Plus, you can easily host these discussion groups for your volunteers too!

So how do you do it? Let’s jump in!

EVERY YEAR

The premise of a Parent Discussion Group is pretty simple: invite a small but diverse group of parents (about ten people) connected to your ministry to join you for coffee and dessert (or chicken wings and soda) so they can share some of their biggest wins, struggles, and lessons learned. Each group fulfills a different purpose:

• MID-YEAR: This is your most important Discussion Group Guide! Use it to check in with parents during the year to receive feedback and provide support in real-time.
• END-OF-YEAR: Use this Discussion Group Guide to review the previous year of ministry and get feedback before the new year begins.
• MINISTRY TRANSITION: Use this Discussion Guide to check in with parents during times of significant change at your church.
• CRISIS CARE: Use this Discussion Guide to support families during a time of crisis in your community.

Exactly how many Discussion Groups you need to schedule each year depends a lot on the number of kids or teenagers you have in your ministry and what else you have on your ministry calendar. But here are a few tips to help you figure out how many Discussion Groups are right for you.

• DON’T SCHEDULE THEM DURING BUSY MONTHS: If you already have a Family or Parent Event or Parent Meeting scheduled in a certain month, don’t add a Parent Discussion Group to the calendar too — that’s a little too much activity for one month! If you haven’t already, we recommend using our Annual Planning Meeting Guide to help you strategize where all of your family ministry efforts should live on the calendar. (And that planning resource is free! So why not?)
• PRIORITIZE THE MID-YEAR CHECK-IN: If you only have time for one Discussion Group this year, make this the one you do! These check-ins are designed to achieve multiple things at once:
  • Give parents a chance to connect with you and each other.
  • Give parents a chance to troubleshoot their challenges together before they and their kids get too frustrated with each other.
  • Give you greater insight into their experiences and challenges so you can provide better support for the second half of the year.
• THEN ADD THE END-OF-YEAR CHECK-IN: Because not every parent will have kids returning for another school year with your ministry, this end-of-year check-in will likely be more beneficial for you (the ministry leader) than it will be for some parents. With that in mind, don’t be discouraged if it’s less attended than other Discussion Groups.
• SCHEDULE THE OTHER DISCUSSION GROUPS WHEN YOU NEED THEM: You won’t be able to plan ahead for a Discussion Group about a ministry transition or a crisis in your community, but if those situations pop up, don’t forget you’ve got a resource that can help!

EVERY DISCUSSION GROUP

Once you’ve decided when you’ll do these Discussion Groups and who you’ll invite, you’re ready to start planning them! And here’s the good news: since the success of these Discussion Groups depends on the wisdom, advice, and questions parents bring to the table, they’re pretty easy to plan!

Remember, the purpose of these Discussion Groups is not for you to teach principles or cast vision. These Discussion Groups are very different from other methods of parent training you might be used to. Most of the time, we probably talk to parents as if we’re experts. These Discussion Groups, however, are an opportunity to help your parents see themselves (and each other) as the experts! The purpose is to engage parents in collaborative conversation, coaching, and problem-solving so parents can walk away from your discussion with plenty of practical ideas and lots of helpful advice. During these discussions, encourage parents to share their own specific stories, ideas, and best practices so that other families can learn from them and steal their ideas.

When you’re ready to plan your Discussion Group…

• LIMIT EACH DISCUSSION GROUP TO 10 PEOPLE: More than ten parents per group means everyone won’t get a chance to really be heard. If you have more than ten parents, you’ll need to either… Plan multiple Discussion Groups on different days to make sure everyone can participate. Have everyone meet on the same day, but split into smaller groups after everyone arrives.
• INVITE PARENTS: Rather than choosing a time and place on your own, talk with some of the parents you plan to invite and let them choose! That’s the beauty of a smaller gathering. If you have fewer than ten families involved in your ministry, inviting everyone should be pretty easy. But if you have more than ten, here are a few things to keep in mind when inviting people…
  • Mix up the genders! There’s no need to separate men and women in this context. In fact, your men and women definitely have insights, experiences, and techniques that will benefit everyone.
  • Keep similar age groups together! Someone who is parenting an elementary-aged kid will have very different struggles than someone who’s parenting a teenager for the first time. So make sure the people in each group parent kids of similar ages.
• PREP YOUR SPACE: If you’re meeting at a coffee shop, restaurant, or remote workspace, you probably won’t need to worry much about the environment. It will already be pretty cozy. There may even be some music playing. But if you’re hosting your Discussion Group in a home or somewhere requiring set-up, we recommend either couches and armchairs or a big dining room table (covered in delicious food). You want your environment to feel welcoming and personal.
• PREP YOUR FOOD: If you can find a location with desserts and coffee (or appetizers and fountain drinks), you’re all set! Order a few things to share, or let everyone place their own order. Either way, pick up the tab for your team. If you’re hosting in a home or somewhere without the benefits of food service, grab a few trays of fun desserts and snacks.
• PRAY: Once you’ve prepared your questions, consider any specific questions, issues, or concerns you’d like to discuss with the parents you’ll be meeting with, and spend time in prayer.

When you’re finally sitting down with parents in your Discussion Group…

• CATCH UP WITH EACH OTHER: Be sure to always start your discussions by letting everyone catch up personally. This connection will help pave the way for more honest and engaging conversations.
• BE A FACILITATOR: You know those skills you learned leading small groups of kids or teenagers? It’s time to use them again! As you facilitate the conversation…
  • Be conscious of the over-talkers and under- talkers in the group to make sure everyone has a chance to speak.
  • Redirect off-topic conversations warmly.
  • Affirm their contributions to the conversation by repeating their best insights, encouraging everyone to take notes, and saying outright when you love what someone has shared.
• ASK ABOUT THEIR SUCCESSES: What’s going well? What’s the best thing about parenting your kids right now? What’s a great parenting idea they had recently? What answers to prayer are they seeing?
• ASK ABOUT THEIR STRUGGLES: What challenges are they facing? What’s the most difficult part of their jobs as parents right now? What kind of support do they need from their church?
• FOLLOW-UP AFTERWARD: After your discussion, follow up with parents with a quick text thanking them for their time. If you had a challenging conversation, be sure to follow up with them about that as well.

And that’s all there is to running your own parent discussion group! Looking for a few more resources to help you run your own groups? You can download the free Parent Discussion Group Guide from Grow Curriculum! It has everything you’ll need to make Parent Discussion groups part of your parent strategy!

Oh, and if you’re looking for other helpful resources for your ministry, check out Grow Curriculum! Grow is more than just kids and youth ministry curriculum. It’s everything you need for your ministry — for the whole year, or just for next week! There’s so much stuff ready for you to use over on the Grow Marketplace. We have volunteer resources, event guides, games, and so much more. Take a look for yourself and try something new!