Have you ever felt like your small group was on fast-forward? The teaching ends, you gather your kids, and suddenly every question gets a one-word answer. Before you know it, you’ve reached your last question… and you still have 20 minutes left in small group time.
If you’ve ever experienced the small group speed run, you’re not alone. It happens to even the most experienced leaders. Sometimes it’s because the topic feels unfamiliar. Sometimes nerves get in the way. And sometimes—honestly—it comes down to the questions we’re asking.
The right questions can completely change the feel of a small group. Thoughtful questions invite kids into the conversation, help them engage with the topic, and create space for them to share their ideas, experiences, and questions. Great questions don’t rush the moment—they help it unfold naturally.
So how can we create discussion questions that help small group leaders feel confident and help kids stay engaged?
It starts with knowing what to avoid—and what to lean into.
QUESTIONS TO AVOID
When you’re thinking through your discussion questions, you’ll want to write questions that are open-ended and leave room for kids to share what their thinking. But sometimes, as we’re preparing our discussion questions, we’ll make some mistakes like…
- Asking yes or no questions.
- Asking questions with one word answers.
- Asking questions that create conflict and debate.
- Asking questions that are too personal.
- Asking questions that are off topic.
Discussion time is one of the most important parts of your kids ministry teaching strategy. It’s where kids begin to personalize what they’ve heard and connect it to their own lives. The questions you ask can help kids move from listening to living their faith—which makes discussion questions a strategic part of ministry, not just filler time.
That’s why it’s helpful to move away from questions like, “Did you like the teaching today?” or “Do you think God wants you to grow?” and instead focus on questions that invite conversation and ease kids into sharing.
QUESTIONS TO ASK
When planning discussion questions, we’ve found that four types of questions work especially well with kids each week: orienting, Scripture, application, and Big Idea questions.
ORIENTING QUESTIONS
Orienting questions help kids ease into the conversation and feel comfortable speaking up. These questions aren’t about “right answers”—they’re about helping kids start talking.
- Ask an icebreaker. Icebreakers are a great way to transition into discussion time. When they connect naturally to your topic, they don’t feel cheesy—and they often get kids talking right away. A few examples include…
- What were the highs and lows of your work?
- What’s something you’ve been interested in lately?
- What’s one fact about you we didn’t know yet?
- Ask about them. To get your kids talking, you could ask questions that are related to your kids but focused on the topic. These questions can help you get to know the kids in your group and move the conversation forward at the same time. Your questions might look like…
- Before today, what did you know about the caring for others?
- Who do you know that serves like Jesus really well?
- Share about a time when a friend helped you with a problem.
When just starting off the discussion time, we want to focus on getting kids talking. These orientation questions help us do just that by focusing on kicking off a conversation or getting kids to share their personal experiences.
SCRIPTURE QUESTIONS
So now that you’ve got your group up and running, it’s time to transition to your Scripture passage. This is a great time to refresh your kids on what happened in the Bible story, you can ask questions like…
- What stood out to you from the story and why?
- Which characters did you relate to the most and why?
- Explain grace in your own words.
- How does this story help you understand what God is like?
These Scripture questions give you a chance to dive down a little deeper into your topic to help kids start to personalize and apply what they’ve learned. Just don’t avoid them because they make the next set of questions a lot easier to write.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
As you start to close out your discussion, it’s time to start helping kids reflect on what they’ve learned and how it relates to their lives. This is a time to start asking about some practical ways kids can respond to what God has been teaching them. Your application questions may look like…
- What should we do with what Jesus is teaching us here?
- What’s the most challenging thing about forgiving others?
- How could you start applying this at home? At school? In your friendships?
- How would you get started in building this new habit?
Application questions help kids transition the topic from something they heard to something they want to respond to. And instead of just telling them what to do, these questions let kids dream up their responses to do what works for them.
BIG IDEA QUESTIONS
For your final questions, you’ll want to help kids refocus on the Big Idea you talked about that day. The Big Idea is the single most important thing you want kids to walk away with from a lesson. It’s the center of your whole teaching time, so it’s important for us to remind kids about it before we close out our group. You can do this by asking one simple question in a whole variety of ways like…
- What are you going to do about what we talked about today?
- What’s your next step and how can we help?
- What’s one way we can pray for you about this?
- Who is one person you could talk with about this?
The goal of these questions is help kids think about what they should do next. We wrap up with Big Idea questions to refocus on what matters and look ahead to what’s next.
So now what? How do you balance the ratios of questions? If you were looking to create a list of 10 discussion questions, we’d recommend this formula…
- 3 Orienting Questions
- 1 Icebreaker
- 2 Orienting Questions
- 3 Scripture Questions
- 3 Application Questions
- 1 Big Idea Questions
Being intentional with your discussion questions can help you avoid the small group speed run and create space for meaningful conversation. It might feel like extra work at first, but it doesn’t have to be complicated—or done on your own.
In the Grow Marketplace, you’ll find kids ministry curriculum that includes discussion questions in every series. Plus, you can find small group training resources, resources for leading parents, and teaching tools that work together. Grow is more than just curriculum—it’s everything you need for your ministry, for the whole year or just for next week.
In this post, here’s what we’ll cover: